White

I stood on a pile of rocks

Metres high

The tide had crept up on me

And I just stood

 

There was no way back

No shore to get to

Just water that raged

And waves that swooshed higher

And I just stood

 

My mind was like that

Looking too casually at city buses

Sleeping too much and yet not enough and

Watching while the things I cared about

Became too hard

 

And as it all fell apart and

My a grades turned to fails and

I lost my job and then my house

And the streets seemed more like home anyway

 

Soon begging for food felt like

Begging for life and

I didn’t want that so I gave my last $50 away

And waited

 

Asking for it to be worse

For a way out

Black was the dreamtime

The silence

 

And if it wasn’t then

White coats stepped in

And took care of things

Sign here please.

 

White sheets and white walls

No more “are you okay?”

No one asks what they can assume

And I love the silence

 

Someone placed flowers by my bedside

I do not know who

I watch as they die

They do it more gracefully than I.

 

 

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